Monthly Archives: October 2008

Phase One in Which Jasmine Gets her Oats

This post is very boring. I just need to write what I think so I can let it go.

A Few Things:

1) I’m halfway done with my internship at Chronicle. Even though I have a month and a half to go, I feel myself already thinking “What’s next?” Due to low turn-over rates for jobs in the Children’s Editing Division (and in any division, it seems), my options are: do another 3 month round of interning or not do anything. Not sure. Part two of this decision? Do I keep well-paying, easy-as-pie, cool-coworker job in PR? Do I keep it part time while doing Round 2 of Chronicle (ie, continue what I’m doing) or do I go full time?

2) Living at my mom’s. Great because my mom is amazing and takes care of me when I’m too lazy. Also, it’s nice to come home to dinner every night, already cooked, already arranged on a plate, just waiting. Bad because the commute is tedious. Great because rent is free. Bad because it’s not easy to have friends/boyfriend over. If I move, where the hell do I go? I’ve been rent free since May. I forgot how expensive living is. A lot will depend on decision of Part One.

3) I want more mind space to write again. I leave my house in the dark, I get home in the dark. And I want to veg out, not think or create. It’s not good. I need an outlet or I think I’m going to start getting more dramatic. Other than food and alcohol.

4) I’m glad to go Ventura this weekend. I’m not excited about the drive, but at least I won’t be alone. It’s been a long time since I’ve made that drive with another person. Possibly not since sophomore year of college, when my dad used to drive me. I fear a little sounding the alarm that I will be in SoCal because I will be there so briefly that it will be hard to see everyone who requires a visit. Next time. Next year.

5) I’m reading a really excellent manuscript. I can’t talk about it because it’s against the rules, but boy am I excited to read something uncritically. Usually I enjoy the good pieces, but I’m still able to pick apart what I think would improve it. Not this one. I’m reading it like I’m reading a book that is off of my shelf.

6) I’m kind of forcing myself to write this right now. I’m currently eating oatmeal out of a Chronicle Books mug and reading the aforementioned manuscript. But, again, I needed to write something. I need to write something. I have thought of so many moments in the last week that I thought “I will write about this” “I will document this.” But so far I’ve allowed them all to just be private moments with myself, or silly things to tell my boyfriend. I documented things for a while in this blog. But I think I’m reverting back to its original purpose; a need to express. A need to write it out.

More later. Hopefully.

Redwood City: Climate Best by Government Test

The title of this blog is actually written on a large sign that stands over the railroad station. I just noticed it this morning. I’m not really sure what it means, but it both amuses and concerns me. Does this mean that the weather is controlled by the government in Redwood City? Or that the government somehow concocted some sort of “weather test” that determines whether a climate is “best”? And then what constitutes the best climate, versus a good climate, versus a passable climate? And when did this supposed test occur?

I’m a little sleepy this morning.

The train station smelled like freshly cut flowers. My mom told me last night that it was supposed to be 80 degrees today, but it’s cold and foggy and I’m underdressed. When a bullet train rushes past my stop, as it does every Tuesday and Thursday, the wind and the inertia of the train frightens me, even though I know it’s coming. I’m afraid that I’ll get dragged away. And the whipping wind was very cold this morning.

I visited M Fox’s hometown this past weekend and it made me want to be a writer again. I want to secure myself financially so that I can not work for awhile and focus on writing. I’ll finish my ideas for once. Nevada City/Grass Valley/Penn Valley reminded me of so many pieces of places I’ve seen before, so much that I had to concentrate on not thinking about somewhere else when I was there. It was a place of nostalgia. All the good parts of my childhood, all the streams and wet green trees and sleepy towns with sleepy people who talk to strangers when mini coopers crash through walls. Houses that were made for women to become mothers and then grandmothers. Lawns that were made for sprinklers in the summer. Parks for dogs and children. A town to grow old in. To watch your children grow, then leave, then come home again with girlfriends, then spouses, then more children. It made me daydream about Fourth of July.

There was a couple at the train station this morning. The man was walking a white and gray greyhound. I wondered if dogs were allowed on the train. They huddled together with their dog and spoke naturally to each other. When the train arrived, the woman said, “I’ll see you guys later” and boarded. The man walked away with the dog. I wonder if he walks her to the train station often. I’m trying to remember if I’ve seen them before. I thought it was interesting how they didn’t kiss goodbye. Not lovers, just friends? Or so familiar that a kiss is vulgar?

Reading slush today will be good. I’m in the mood for discovering.